Thursday, 24 May 2007

Why is this heading coming up in something that does not resemble English?

Right, hello world (at this stage it's only me - good place to start venting)... 3rd world bitterly cold here today, and no sign of it letting up... Not looking v.v.v.pretty with many layers of woolies on but ummm erm there's no one around to see that except the kids who look the same...I would if at all humanly possible have my rather luscious SINGLE attorney keeping me company and discussing our issues tonight, however since he is about the same age as my son I think he rather decided that he didn't hear my passing remarks on him beuing quite delightful....(silent I might add only to the receptionists who I have known for ever - been their client for 20 years so they are used to me being slightly off-balance)

I have to rest my case on something - Justice in this country. Today I spent an inordinate amount of time getting on my attorney's nerves (bless him - he really is gorgeous and has taken a lot of flack from me over this) whilst we have tried for the last year to get child support from Mr Deadbeat who himself is an attorney....

Finally we got our papers in order without assistance from Dept of Justice and I personally had the documents signed and issued by the Chief Registrar of the Supreme Court today - courier service waiting to deliver urgent to city on other side of RSA - warrant of arrest and detention for deadbeat dads who don't pay maintenance... Courier service waiting to deliver them to appropriate High COurt sheriff to serve and arrest the deadbeat, only to discover at 2.30 pm that it had been authorised under the wrong Act... initially informed us that the Act had been repealed, later turned out that they were incorrect, Act still in existnence by which time Warrant of Arrest and Detention had been changed into Warrant of Execution....

Now the moral of this story to all single parents out there who are battling and doing their best for their children who have deadbeats hanging around too busy with their Mercs, needing to change and upgrdae annually, new lady friends, and townhouses and property investments (let's add in the horses on the farm here as well) is that you CANNOT WIN SO DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!!!!! Unless you have a good attorney, R20000 for security and someone willing to take on a a medically diagnosed psychopath you need to go the maintenance court route which can take up to 2 to 3 years in which case you would be living in cardboard boxes or at the Salvation Army...

I sit with a HIGH COURT ORDER... I have already had a writ of execution 4 years ago for non-payment of child support.... I settled on something like R28000 less than claimed and still agreed to pay my own costs after Mr Deadbeat begged & pleaded.... Another moral here is that my children, although they do not know their father as a "father" they know his name as "dad" on the few occasions I had him as a guest in my home to meet the girls (the one he only met for the first time when she was 2 - she is now 7) is that I never allowed the girls to see us arguing bickering fighting or anything of that nature. Which is why I allowed him as a guest in my home - I of course do not have another relationship so it was never a problem. He was in and out of relationships and so when he did visit spent more time SMSing the latest and having private calls outside than spending time with the kids.... MORAL=never let them see you fight - they will grow up and find out the truth for themselves...

WIll have to finish this post later... Aiden is in need of my cell phone because he cannot sleep until he has blocked it and I have to search with frozen fingers for the PUK... No spelling check done tonight again due to above reasons.... Will cotinue next instalment on deadbeats in a short while.... But I do have soe good advice and am willing to share it - and yes, it is legal....

Bye for now, speak soon - I still need to find a place to upload photos.... Will look when cell phone is out of danger and fingers are unfrozen...

D
xx

6 comments:

Crunchy Annie said...

LOVE your new blog!!!

Donnette said...

Morning Annie, thanks for the msg. Have just returned again from High Court - bitterly cold last night, I slept with an overcoat on and that didn't help, held my hands over the heater until I burnt a finger... Documents all issued and ready to go off to Mother City to serve on deadbeat dad attorney only to be advised by courier clerk at attorney's offices that it will not get there today and so Monday or Tuesday at the earliest... Not Good!!!! Then to top it all says we need to pay courier up front... I say how much - I have never had to pay an account in advance for this firm in my 20 odd years of dealing with them, and she says um erm uh well Idon't really know... So I say how much? And she says "I don't have a clue..." Very helpful and me very frustrated... Moral of the story - do it yourself or it does not get done properly... By the time I had driven to the Mother City and served the papers on the appropiate people and returned back to Makhathini town on the other side of the country it would have saved me endless days and huge amounts of money, time and resources that I can ill afford being ready to now bang my head against the padded wall of my cell.... Tell me - am I the only one that has to fight for justice... For goodness sake, it is not for me - I don't spend my children's money on diamonds... I had many - deadbeat dad sold them - I buy food and clothes... WHat's up with this place, not only in S A but what a battle I a having to claim child support from yet another deadbeat in USA... Oh my hat! My head hurts and I am in need of my psychologist I think... I am going to go have a look at your blog now and see how this is supposed to actually work :) Keep in touch...

Love D
xx

Parishna said...

Hi D
Let me tell you, that i really, really admire you.
Love your blog, and love it that you are letting the world know about the difficulties that all single mothers have to face, i'm going to give this URL to some fathers who i know, don't pay there child support, as well as to more people who would appriciate reading it.
Keep well and god bless.
Best regards and all my love,
Parishna

Donnette said...

Hi ladies

Thanks for the support and encouragement, new to this as well but passionate as always (it's this OCD thing that creeps in) watch this space - hell can I take off.... And the sad thing is that it doesn't help :) nothing to be done unless we take the bull by the horns and do it ourselves... Have a lovely story about my life in the freezing 3rd world today - Makhathinitown was icy and last night could have had Mark from Westlife keeping the ermmm house warm (don't think his voyfriend wuld have loved that) but anyway today was a disaster - all related to the pathetic criminal justice sytem in this country...

Now I have all the Acts, I have the maintenance Act, I have the child support Act, I have the ecucation Act, I even have the Acts in USA where I have another deadbeat father (check out my main website www.staidenshomeschool.com/parents.html if you need more advice on this) but do you think anyone in the Dept of Justice has a clue?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Clueless, ended up drafting and couriering off my own documents because well if it isn't urgent for the guy earning a fat wage, then what's it to him if my kids eat cardboard and join Box City next week? Will post story later, it's a nasty one... Am I allowed to go into graphic detail here?

Tell you why.... I have had an offer from a book editor to write my memoirs and I decided where I am in my life right now is a good place to start, I can go backwards, then back to the present and then backwards again (pretty much like my life has been) These stories involved coming home to a house where every scrap of furniture has been removed, my kids had to sleep on the floor, another where I was burned down in my house when HE thought I was sleeping, for insurance money which they paid HIM (We weren't married - we weren't even living together) and he is a practising attorney - a deadbeat!!!!! It's all a matter of record so I suppose putting it on here won't make any difference at all... Court records and police reports abound so nothing new there... Don't read if you get easily disturbed, some things are not pretty... Any comments? Or should I keep my big mouth shut? lol

Much love and god bless
D
xx

Donnette said...

Right one more thing

If the spelling is atrocious it's because I type at the speed of lightning 110 wpm and if I don't do spellcheck you get heiroglyphics.... normally it only happens when Aiden is trying to disfigure rither me or one of the computers and I think "Let me post msg before I lose what I have typed..." I'm sure you know what I mean when I say evucation though... lol...

Love always

Where can I upload photos in this blog? People tell me and I save it but I forget where I saved them... *Help she screams*

Donnette said...

Hi there

Okay having found myself totally lost I finally gained some sort of self-respect and found the comments I thought I had lost... And about photos - don't know where that ended up but I have discovered this wonderful way of inserting pictires into my posts which for most people is quite simple, one simply reads the isntructions... Not so for me... So I will create a new section on photos dealing specifically with my OCD... you'll see why and what I mean by OCD... Then I will create a new section dealing specifically with something else, then I can box everything and hopefully get some order on this computer before I completely go insane.... And shouldn't I start sending messages under other subjects now?